by Jennifer Osterday

At the end of August, Kevin and Julie Hall will celebrate their 21st wedding anniversary. The two will agree, however, that it was only by the grace of God that their marriage has lasted for this long.

When the two met more than 20 years ago, they became best friends. The friendship led to dating, and when Kevin eventually popped the question, it seemed right for them to marry. They moved to Louisville for Kevin to begin culinary school. The friendship that had brought them together seemed to disintegrate while they lived in Louisville.

“During that time, our relationship as husband and wife, nobody would know that we were married except by our wedding bands,” Julie said. “The way he talked to me and the way I reacted out in my own resentful way…it really was the beginning of what could have been the end.”

Being young, funds were low and they could only afford one car. Julie admitted that she selfishly kept the car while Kevin was forced to ride her 10-speed bike 20 miles to school and work. Kevin went to school full time and also worked a full time job. The two lived separate lives and Julie was ready to give up.

“I knew that he would never want to get a divorce, but in my heart I knew that I was doing wrong,” Julie said. “I really wanted the divorce because I didn’t want to keep treating him like that, but I had no where else to go.”

They stuck it out; the word “divorce” was not an option for Kevin. So Julie would try to occasionally be the good house wife, but she said her heart just wasn’t in the marriage.

When Kevin’s schooling was finished, the two moved back to Dayton. Julie became a Christian after visiting a Christian Ashram with Kevin and his parents. While she tried to be the “good little house wife and friend” she found that Kevin was still not treating her in a respectful way.

“It was like everything I did, I did alone or with my friends. A lot of infidelity had played a part in all this loneliness feeling,” Julie said.

Julie at one point moved in with a girlfriend, and she was convinced that getting a divorce was the anwer. Kevin wouldn’t give in. His cousin from Alabama, Jimmy, a strong Christian, came to Dayton. Kevin called Julie and asked her to speak with he and Jimmy. Julie reluctantly went. Looking back, Julie said she could see how God was in the midst of that meeting.

Jimmy asked Julie whether she would reconsider her decision on getting a divorce. Julie said, “No,” but that she was willing to talk to him that night. The three decided to kneel and pray together.

“I don’t know what happened from then on. All I know is that the infidelity from that day stopped,” she said.

Not only did the infidelity stop, but reconciliation in the marriage began. Julie moved back in with Kevin and the two began to communicate and be completely honest with each other. Julie asked Kevin for forgiveness. She also began to read more of the Bible and became the wife she knew she should be. Things started to turn around in her life; and ten years into the marriage, she gave birth to their first child, Hunter. The Lord began to work in her. For the first time, Julie understood that no matter what happened, God was going to be there to help her and her marriage.

“Even though our marriage started to blossom, it wasn’t until I began a lasting relationship with Christ that our marriage actually became fruitful,” Kevin said.

As she began to go to church, Julie had hoped Kevin would go as well. He didn’t. And while their relationship had improved, there were still many times Julie felt like Kevin was not the man he should be. One day she found herself at her father-in-law’s grave, asking the Lord to please tell her father-in-law up there that his son was not doing his job.

Julie remembers telling the Lord that day, “I can’t do anything with him. It’s not up to me. He’s yours. You’re going to have to change him; I can’t do it anymore, but I’ll stand by him and I’ll love him, but I’m done trying.”

Her prayer was answered faster than she could imagine thanks in part to Refuge, a Wednesday night service previously held at Apex. After attending an Apex weekend gathering once, Kevin found himself at Refuge. The first night Kevin attended forever changed him. He renewed his relationship with the Lord and decided to begin truly living for Christ.

“Because of her prayers for our marriage and for my soul, it bought me back to a lasting relationship with Christ,” Kevin said. “Once I had that and became the true spiritual leader of the family like I needed to be, then that’s when our marriage really started to blossom.”

Through counseling, communication and their love for the Lord, the Hall’s marriage became healthy and strong. Kevin gave up control of his life and put it in God’s hands. He said, a pivotal realization for him was when he read Ephesians 5:25-27, where it reads:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

Kevin realized this was how he had to treat Julie. He began to see her as Christ sees her, presenting her spotless and unblemished. Julie said that when Kevin told her this, it was better than any love poem. She understood for the first time that Kevin really did love her.

As the two reflected on their marriage, they couldn’t contain the thankfulness they have for the Lord saving their marriage.

As encouragement toward other couples struggling in their marriage, Kevin said, “Don’t be afraid to save the marriage. It’s just made our relationship so much stronger. You wonder how people after 20, 30, 40 years can have a divorce? Because they haven’t gone through the struggles to make it stronger. They haven’t weathered the storm and come out on top. If they weathered the storm, it makes your marriage so much stronger. I thank God for what happened to us, that we went through what we did. Because if we didn’t, we’d still be struggling right now, and we’d struggle for the next 10, 15 years.”

The band was set. The hot dogs were cooking. We were praying that God would bring the right people.

Of course He did.

At the end of July, many Apex house churches united together with Chris Brownleigh & the Horlacher house church in Region 3. Their house church has been tutoring and mentoring the kids from the nearby St. Vincent de Paul’s Kettering Commons apartments. This complex is a permanent supportive housing program for families who have been homeless.

God orchestrated details so that the Horlacher house church was connected with Tony and Jonelle Utt of the WestCarrollsBurgWood Forest HC in Region 4. The Utts are raising support to work with the creative arts ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ, Keynote. Keynote’s mission is to strategically help evangelistic ministries make the gospel readily understandable to their own target audience by providing innovative and creative resources, such as performing arts, film, and communication training.

After some planning, the house churches decided to put together a free picnic for the apartment residents, including a concert by a Keynote band. About 75 people came to the show – on a day where the heat index was over 100 degrees!

Everyone had a great time dancing to music by Sara Bareilles, Paramore, Owl City, Switchfoot, and more. In between songs, some band members shared stories from their own lives. Nate, the bass player, shared about a time in his life where he was battling with depression, feeling worthless and alone. Vocalist, Allie, told her story of being rejected by her friends, which led to an attempt to drive her car off of the road. The beauty of these stories, though, came when the band members combined their stories with God’s redemptive story. They told how God showed them that He loves them and truly has a plan for their lives.

After the concert, the band members and Apexers were able to have some more personal conversations with some of the kids and their families. Spiritual conversations were definitely happening! At the event, five people started a relationship with Jesus and many more said that they were interested in talking with someone about God! Praise God for being able to use the platform of music to share His good news and to help one of our house churches to be able to have deeper spiritual conversations!

People from the following house churches helped out with this event:

Horlacher HC [Region 3]
WestCarrollsBurgWood Forest HC [Region 4]
Sherwood Forrest HC [Region 4]
Garman/Crawford [Region 4]
Creighton HC [Region 1]
Delco HC [Regon 3]
Blystone/Acker HC [Region 3]

The Kinsey Road house church in Xenia has had recent opportunities to build relationships not only with their local community but also with a neighboring house church.

In July, this house church partnered with Athletes in Action (AIA) to host a free sports camp in their neighborhood.  Over the course of three days, approximately thirty kids from Xenia attended the camp.

Each day, the kids were divided into age-specific groups and then rotated through various sports stations.  Athletes in Action interns taught volleyball, basketball, baseball, and soccer skills.  The evenings ended with a snack and devotional, which included challenges on integrity and character related to sports skills.

The children’s parents were invited to stay, which provided opportunities to build relationships, have spiritual conversations, and expand interest in the house church.  The event also brought the community together.  Neighbors who had not seen each other in a long time were able to reconnect.

The AIA interns had a great time and want to make this an annual event.  It gave them a chance to put into practice things that they have been learning this summer.

The Kinsey Road house church has grown from this experience on several levels.  The children invited many of the neighborhood kids to this event, which enabled them to have an active role in house church ministry.  In addition, the house church was able to work together as a team, encourage one another, and be united in prayer for the event.  These kinds of events also serve to uncover spiritual gifts and build community through shared experience.

The sports camp challenged the Kinsey Road house church to create opportunities to engage others with the Gospel, and it is hopefully just a starting point for future ministry opportunities.  Now that connections have been made, the group can follow up with people and continue to foster those relationships.

Recent ministry opportunities have also bridged relationships between neighboring house churches.  The week before the sports camp, the Kinsey Road house church supported the Prem Place house church in their neighborhood outreaches.  Members of the Prem Place house church then attended and supported the sports camp.  Working together has deepened friendships and there have already been conversations about ways to partner together in the future to reach Xenia for Christ.

Chad Osborne, Director of High School Ministries at Apex, teaches in the following four recordings. Throughout the Summer of 2010, Apex High School students have been going through a series studying the doctrines of other religions and comparing them with the gospel of Jesus Christ. This content is great for students of Jesus of ALL ages.

The purpose of this is to strengthen students’ understanding of biblical doctrine while studying some unbiblical doctrines that have been formed and are relevant in our culture. The goal is not to encourage students to become intellectually arrogant and to look to start arguments, but rather to equip and enable them to have a respectful dialogue with people from other faiths in hope of sharing the good news of the gospel. None of this content is meant to be an attack on people for their particular beliefs, but it does call into question the validity of certain doctrines and how they were formed.

Links to these resources in our library:

Comparing Roman Catholicism
Comparing Mormonism
Comparing Jehovah’s Witnesses
Comparing Islam (coming soon)